Mind of the Twins

The Tittie Terrorist

2010-02-01T08:22:00.001-08:00

You are the only insurgent that I won’t turn in
Threat level on red
As much as I want to sleep as close to my husband as I can
You find a way every night to make your way to our bed
The Tittie Terrorist
Dropping bombs in the huggies
Snatching meals from my boobies
Kicking daddy with your booties
The Tittie Terrorist
Every morning a new list of demands
Slapping daddy with your backhand
Pulling big sis by her hair strands
The Tittie Terrorist
Toughest, sweetest baby that I know
More and more everyday she grows
The cutest terrorist around….. I suppose

Lonely Times

2010-01-30T21:21:00.000-08:00

In my lonely times I have to remind myself to stay focused
but it gets tough
I try so hard to remind myself that there is nothing outside of this house that could bring me more joy than my husband and kids
But sometimes my thoughts drift off to places that God forbids
So that's when I drop everything and take some time to myself
and commune with the one person that I need to talk to the most

Thank you GOD for my family
and thank you for my health
Thank you for my hands
and thank you for growth

Far from who I used to be
but the journey is not at an end
I am asking you God to forever be my friend

Keep me from drifting off this course that you've designed
Keep me in my right state of mind
Keep me grounded
Keep me humble
Give me wisdom
Give me peace
Give me knowledge

I am in your hands GOD

Amen

Mommy's day

2010-01-08T00:41:00.000-08:00

Its Midnight
Hubby is sleep
Big Sis is at peace
And you have just finished your last feeding

Its 3 am
Hubby is still sleep
Big Sis is at peace
again you are Eating

Its 7 am
Hubby awakes and preparing for work
Big Sis is crying for more sleep
You are cozy in our bed

Its 10 am
Hubby is at work
Big Sis is at school
You are awake waiting to be fed

Its 12 noon
Hubby is home for lunch
Big sis should be napping at school
You are playing with toys and trying to sit up

Its 2:00
Hubby is back at work
Big sis is preparing to come home
You are getting another meal before we pick your sister up

Its 5:00
Hubby is home
Big Sis is helping in the kitchen
You are playing in your swing watching mommy cook

Its 8:00
Hubby is on stage
Big sis in the tub
You are in your swing giving me dirty looks

Its 10:00
Hubby is texting
Big Sis is fighting sleep
You are laying in my lap looking at me

If someone were to ask me what I do all day
I would have to say
Thanking God for a beautiful family
and Sanity

untitled

2010-01-07T23:30:00.000-08:00

I love you more than you will ever know
And through my womb our love continues to grow
I never imagined I could feel this way
So full of love and joy each and every day
I know I tell you daily of how much you mean to me
But I wanted to take the time to put it in words that you could see

I love you my husband, my king, my boo
I appreciate the words you say and all the things that you do

Good Night

Quick poem for Sade

2010-01-07T23:22:00.000-08:00

It was only three months ago when you arrived
I am in utter amazement of how fast you’ve grown before my eyes
You used to eat sleep and poop all day
But now you wake up at four a.m. just to play
Your daddy thinks that you love him more
But you and I both know that I am the one you adore
My favorite part of the day is anytime you eat
And how if I don’t feed you fast enough, you throw tantrums with your feet
I love how quickly you are learning how to use your hands
Pretty soon you will be rolling, crawling, and soon learning how to stand
Take your time little mama, don’t you grow too fast
Mommy wants to enjoy every moment while it last

Mommy's Laziness

2010-01-07T23:20:00.000-08:00

Never should've signed up for these vaccinations
Should've given it more contemplation

Now I have to hold you down while you endure the pain
I wish I could tell you that this won't happen again

But according to the schools, it must be done
or else I will have to home school you until your 21

Maybe that would have been an option had I prepared myself in advanced
But I can be honest and admit that sometimes I am too lazy to even give it a chance

Maybe I will be ready by the time that you are 3
But If you are anything like mommy, you yearn to be active socially

Just know that mommy had to go through this too
and if I could take it all back, then I would just for you

Distractions

2010-01-07T23:18:00.000-08:00

So many Distractions
Not enough time
So many paths to take
gotta make sure the one I'm on is mine

So many things being thrown my way
Gotta stay focused
gotta stay on track
Gotta shake off what the haters say

So many distractions
which will I ignore
Too many to choose
Can't take any of them anymore

Away with the books of faces
Away with the meaningless conversations
Away with the tweets and chatter
Getting back to the things that really matter

Away with the tv's
Away with the wack mc's
Away with the dvd's
Getting back to time with my family

The hubby,the Kids, the fam, my Spirit
My health, happiness, inner joy....
I refuse to let anyone steal it

So I bid farewell to all things that don't uplift
and if you don't feel me or can't get with it
Then the best thing for you to do is keep walking...catch my drift?

fly free

2009-11-17T21:59:00.001-08:00

I want to let you fly free little bird
To soar and become the Eagle you were destined to be
I want to let you fly free little bird
But every time I try to let you go, you insist that you need me
I want to let you fly free little bird
To fly high into the clouds until you reach the stars
I want to let you fly free little bird
But you insist that without me you won’t go far
I want to let you fly free little bird
To do all the things that little birds do
I want to let you fly free little bird
But you quickly remind me that I am a little bird too
And even though we can both fly free and succeed apart
We are more powerful as a unit and together we can create works of art

2009-09-16T15:03:00.000-07:00

I want to give my all to this new little addition to the family, but my appetite is gone. How can I feed her, and I can't feed myself. Even though I have been down this road before with Kimani, this all feels new to me. I am trying to do the no meat, all natural thing, but I only crave burgers, fries, shakes, and soda. I need to figure out what I am seeking comfort from. Those are all examples of comfort foods.

Sade Kali Thompson

2009-09-16T13:50:00.001-07:00

Sade Kali Thompson
Weight: 6 Lbs
Length: 19 inches
Time: 1:42 pm

Sade is here......I think this is it ....lol

2009-09-16T13:17:00.000-07:00

The day started off like any other day. I woke up, showered, helped Kimani get dressed, and cooked breakfast. We all hopped in the car. I dropped Kimani off, then Lance, and I headed home to do some hair. After finishing my client, I headed out the door with my breakfast in hand, and made my way to my weekly visit to the doctor.

I arrived at the doctor office on time, but clearly they were running behind schedule. So as I patiently waited, I chit chatted on the phone with my homie. An hour later, the docs called me back. I left my urine sample and undressed waist down. Ms Brown checks my cervix and I am 1 cm dilated. Then she checked on the baby’s heart rate. In the process of that, I started to have a contraction. A few seconds later, the heart rate slowed down. Out of concern, Ms Brown thought it would be best to head over to Atlanta perinatal for an ultrasound.

So I am off to Atlanta perinatal, thinking about stopping at McDonalds, but decided that I would eat at the hospital. I get to the hospital, sign in, and wait patiently. The nurse called me back and explained the process. She put me on a monitor for 20 minutes and then did an ultrasound. She then sent me back to the waiting room so that I could talk to the doctor. The doctor informed me that my baby was under distress everytime I had a contraction. So he sent me to Labor and Delivery for more observation. At this point, my stomach is growling, and I didn't realize that i wasn't going home.

I get to Labor and Delivery, my cell phone is dead, and my stomach is still growling. After registering, I used the lobby phone to call Lance, who has no idea of what's going on, and I called my friend to see if she could pick Lance up from work and bring him to the hospital. After making my calls, I went and checked into what I didn't know was my room for the night. The nurse was very helpful. She explained what was going on, and that the doctors were thinking about inducing my labor.......Okay so that's when I realized that little Sade was going to be here at some point this "Labor Day" weekend.

Lance, Doreatha, and Tony arrive around 7:30. The doctors come in and inform us that they will be inducing my labor at some point that night. I was very scared. So around 11:00 pm, the doctors start the pytocin, the drug that they use to induce labor, and wish me luck. My contractions are painfully coming 3 minutes apart, so I just knew that Sade would be here by midnight. At 1 a.m, the nurse came to check my cervix, which hadn't change at all. Because of some scar tissue around my cervix from my cerclage, my cervix couldn't dilate properly.

At 7:00 the nurse gave me some medication to help with the pain. At 8:30 a.m, the doctor came in with her tools, broke through the scar tisssue, and broke my water. That's when the real pain started. My other nurse named Mary suggested that I get an epidural because the pain was going to get much worse. I am normally against any type of medication, but the pain from the open scar tissue and contractions was too much too bear.

At 11:00, the anesthesiologist came in to do the epidural. A very dangerous procedure, but it took all of the pain away. The nurse tucked me into bed comfortably, and told me to rest because I had a long ways to go. Around 1:30, I started to feel pressure again. I called the nurse and she was going to give me another dose of medication. Before doing that, she checked my cervix and realized that it was time to deliver. Two pushes later, Sade was born at 1:42. She was a whopping 6 lbs. even, and 19 inches long. Finally....it was over....or so I thought.

While the nurses were cleaing me up, they noticed that my cervix was "hanging out". They told me that it was fine, and if it hung out in the future, that I should just push it back in. I was too busy trying to see my baby, I paid it no attention.

After they cleaned the baby up, I immediately began to nurse her. Again a very painful experience, but it was worth it. I knew for a fact that I should not have been in that much pain, but I let the doctors tell me different. After a 2 day stay at the wonderful emory at midtown, I was sent home with a new baby, painkillers, stool softeners, and iron pills. the rest of my evening was spent in pain. That night I showered and felt something hanging between my legs. I asked my husband to look and the look on his face told me that something wasn't right.

The next morning I called my doctor for an emergency appointment. We immediately were seen when we arrived, and ten minutes later, I found out that my cervix was torn, and I needed to report to the hospital in the morning for surgery. Back to Emory again......

I stayed up all night pumping milk for the baby, and prayed for the strength to get through another surgery. We arrive at the hospital at 7 am for a 10:30 am procedure. The hospital did not allow anyone under the age of 16 in the pre-op area, so I had to thug it out all alone. To make a long story short, they put me to sleep, stitched me up, and I woke up an hour later with a sore throat.

Now I am home recovering, losing weight, and spoiling the little one. Sade is here....and I think that she will be the last one......unless God gives me the strength to have another.

A lesson on Support

2009-07-18T17:21:00.000-07:00

This post is going to be short. I am learning how to be more supportive of my husband and his pursuit of his dream to do comedy. This is one of those nights that I would love to spend time with him, but he wants to go out and do some networking. Thanks to deep breathing, good food, and red box, I think that I will get through this night. Support means sometimes sacrificing so that the your other half can grow....

Sage...who knew

2009-04-08T16:16:00.000-07:00

Okay so things are better now that we have decluttered our house and burned some sage to get all of the negative energy out of this apartment. I didn't expect the sage to smell like weed, but it seemed to make this place a little bit more peaceful. Being married means having strength when your other half does not have the strength to get through things. One of us has to be stron. Maybe when I get weak, he will be strong enough to handle the weight.

WHEN THE OTHER HALF IS AT 20%

2009-03-25T09:32:00.000-07:00

What do you do when your partner gets so down and in a funk that not even his favorite meal can pull him out of the mood that he is feeling. I understand why he feels the way that he does, but I do not know what to do to get him out of it. He barely eats and just wants to sleep all day. I wish that I could pick him up and let him know that I am here for him. Sometimes when he feels the way that he feels, it makes me feel down as well. The last time he fell into this mood, we moved five states away and started over fresh. Maybe it's the pressure of having a pregnant wife, two toddler girls, and no employment. I am doing all that I can to pick him up....but he is still down.

My son

2008-10-29T16:23:00.001-07:00

I’ll start from the beginning, and try to help you understand
How God has a reason for everything, and for everyone he has a plan.

On the 29th day of December, of my sophomore year, the year 2001
Life for me as I had known it changed, For God had blessed me with a son

Malachi Jamal Moore, a name truly fit for a king
I never could’ve guessed or imagined all the lessons and joy this little boy could bring

You see Malachi was little, just barely two pounds
But he was strong, and he was a fighter, nothing could hold him down
He had many complications, some big, and some small
But he always kept a smile that helped his mommy bare it all

He never got a chance to crawl, walk, or those little things that babies do
And he and I both went through some things that some of you may never go through
He never got a chance to come home, but he always knew that his mommy would always be there
To be his comfort and strength, and to show him that she cared

He only lived 19 months, on August the 4th he was called home
To sit in the arms of God, or maybe in his own baby throne
What you don’t understand is the message I’m trying to teach
About how my little baby had a message he was sent to preach

You see the name Malachi means God’s messenger, and he bought a message full of power
It simply says, “God is coming for his people, but no one knows the day or hour”

Malachi was sent here to teach a few things like how to truly love
And how to focus not on things of this world, but on Almighty God above
His time was short, his purpose was met, and all the pain is gone
I understand now, and now I am strong, and now I must press on

Growth

2008-10-29T16:21:00.000-07:00

Thank you Creator for growth
My feminine energy is no longer suppressed
Now free to do what I was called to do
No longer will I digress

From relaxed and straightened with a little slicked down to the side
To a low cut well shaped up beauty who rocks her natural with pride
From a size three olive oil type chick with big feet
To a size 12 fluffy the body type chick with a little extra mama meat

Thank you Creator for growth
My feminine energy is no longer suppressed
Now free to do what I was called to do
No longer will I digress

From fresh beaters
To v neck dresses
From quick washes with Dove
To elaborate showers with citrus ginger fragrances
From corporate cubes and navy blue slacks
To sexy black ensembles with accessories to match

Thank you Creator for growth
My feminine energy is no longer suppressed
Now free to do what I was called to do
No longer will I let myself digress

From being lost in the world and trying to find my way
To being spiritually grounded on the Creator and learning how to pray
From Geek squad and confusing computer terms
To natural hair guru with the gift of gab and the power to free my people from perms

Thank you Creator for growth
My feminine energy is no longer suppressed
Now free to do what I was called to do
No longer will I let myself digress

From single parent having to play both roles
To being called baby, boo, the mate of his soul
From a boring life full of all work and no play
To a life filled with creativity being expressed everyday

Yes………..Thank You Creator for growth
My feminine energy is no longer suppressed
Now free to do what I am called to do
No longer will I let myself digress……

Locked Down Lover

2008-10-29T16:19:00.000-07:00

I can't sit here and pretend that I don't wonder how you are doing

Even though I have someone to call my own

I hated to cut things off so abruptly

but that was the only way that both you and I could grow

We shared many love letters and Polaroid pictures through mail

but that just wasn't enough

I needed someone next to me to help me live my life

someone to physically hold me when my days got to be tough

Please don't hate me or cast me into the category of lost loves

I hope that I much more than a bad thought

But please hold and cherish the memories that we had

and know that you held a special place in my heart

I grew tired of the bag searches, limited visitation, and sounds of bars closing

and leaving the facility feeling as if I would forever be a visitor on your list

I grew tired of calling and telling my friends about the man that I adored

When I knew in my heart that I hated all of the family events that you would miss

I needed more than just words on paper in envelopes biweekly

I needed you to be free to live life out here with me

But you couldn't give me that because of the choices that you made

and I had to move on and see the reality

I loved you when you were here

and cried when I didn't know where you had gone

and felt relieved when I found out that you were alive

and felt discouraged when I had to love you from afar

So I can't sit here and pretend that you do not cross my mind

Sometimes I want to write and make sure that you are okay

but I do not want to open up that door that I fought so hard to close

no matter what my thoughts might say

So goodbye I say to you my locked down love of the past

Know that the memories we shared were not in vain

I found that happiness that you and I once discussed

and I've learned how to heal from the pain

I hope that you are reformed, refreshed and renewed when they decide to set you free

and if our paths should cross again, I hope that you are not filled with resentment

but take all that you have learned over the years and find a new life …....and live it

Finally accepting the writer in me

2008-10-29T16:17:00.000-07:00

Okay. I've finally decided to add the title writer/poet to my list of words to describe myself. I am making a commitment to writing a novel, writing more poems, and blogging more often about anything that comes to mind. Please feel free to comment on my poems.

Doing Hair in Atlanta

2008-09-08T18:24:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don't know, I just recently moved to Atlanta, Ga for no reason in particular. I am currently working at a salon called Deeply Rooted which is a really awesome place to work. I meet a lot of interesting people who have interesting ways of talking. I had two clients last week who were teaching me some slang, and I honestly felt like I was really old. These guys where only about six or seven years younger than me.

So here is the slang that I learned so far.....

" A Big dog yo dreds is Fi(Fire without the re)
Translation: "Your locs look Hot" of "your locs look nice".....lol
"He's lurkin"
Translation: He's checking himself out in the mirror"

Okay that was funny.

I also tell people that I just moved down from Maryland near Baltimore, and the first thing that they ask me about is the wire.

Okay until later.

The first Post

2008-09-08T17:51:00.000-07:00

Okay so I know that I have picked a very corny first post title, but it's better than nothing at all. Anyway, I am new to this whole blogging thing, but I as a Gemini I always have so many thoughts running through my head, i figured that blogging would be the best method for releasing these thoughts that I have.

Let me first give you a break down of who I think I am from a Gemini perspective. I am a very flighty free spirit who loves talking and getting to know people. I like to take a walk in others shoes in order to get a good idea of who they are and how he/she views life. I will try anything once and I like to start projects that may or may not get finished( hopefully not this blog :)

Okay now I can begin. I know officially have many titles. I am a mother, step-mother, wife, natural hair stylist, P.S.G ( Poet Still Growing), eldest child, eldest grandchild on my mom's side, and many others that I don't feel like mentioning. I think that today I will talk about my newest title.....wife.

As a young girl I never dreamed of getting married in a fancy church, in a big expensive white dress, with all of my family and friends in attendance. As a young woman I could never imagine being committed to someone for the REST OF MY LIFE. Now that I have taken that step, I can honestly say that I enjoy marriage. What's even more exciting is the fact that he is also a Gemini, which means that he always understands what I am thinking and why I am thinking it. I enjoy being a wife, whatever that means, but I'm still trying to figure out if I am supposed to feel different. At times I wonder if the husband feels any different than he did before when we were shacking.....lol. Anyway....that's all for now. Gotta put the kids to bed.....